also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize