you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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