he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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