Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
