he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
