It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i need some magic done to my vagina
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
