why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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