THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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