Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
