Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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