so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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