yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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