...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
