Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
