everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
