i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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