i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
