Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize