i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
