I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
