Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
