i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
