One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize