Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
