dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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