That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize