Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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