Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
