I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
