She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
