People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize