I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That's when you crack a 10am beer
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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