One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
