? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
