dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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