So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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