i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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