I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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