when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
