His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize