this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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