your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
handjob tips. give me some.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
