how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
