She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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