i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
