I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i think i have herpe
just one?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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