oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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