When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
