My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
