I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
