Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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