Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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