On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I understand Curling. That high.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
