im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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