Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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