Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
