So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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