And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
