things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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