Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
