nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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