Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
