I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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