She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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