Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
