I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
