She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
