your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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