My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
