she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
