this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
