remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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